My dad

I have never talked about my dad being sick on this blog. I always thought that matters of the health are really best discussed between family, but with the rise in social media and websites such as Caring Bridge (of which dad's maladies are detailed), I figured that I could write about my dad on my blog, which maybe a dozen or so people read, infrequently at that. My dad has cancer and is dying. He was diagnosed November 2008 with pancreatic cancer. He received a whipple surgery to remove the head of his pancreas in an effort to excise the cancer, but for whatever reason, it didn't work and the cancer came back apparently in the spot where the surgery took place. As recently as last week, I asked my dad if he had the strength to put pressure on his legs, in my vain thinking that if I could just get him to stand, his strength might come back. But of course I am also a realist. Once you have a cancer such as pancreatic cancer, your life is pretty much limited, and especially when you are on in years as my dad is. Watching my dad go through chemotherapy, and listening to his rationale that its all about the money, I have tended to believe what he says.

My dad has always been a trendsetter in his own quirky ways. When he first moved to the United States he bought a 1962 VW Beetle, more so I think because it got good gas mileage than anything else. He was always about the gas mileage in the cars that he purchased for his own use, way before it became trendy, or more so, necessary to watch your mileage. 1980 Honda Civic GL, 1995 BWM 318ti, and so on. At the time he bought the BMW, he was also thinking about a 95 Chevy Impala, you know, the monster car with the Corvette motor. But practicality always won out, except of course when he purchased a brand new 1984 Mercedes Benz turbo diesel (Which I still drive to this day). In all respects, my dad is always about practicality. He researched nearly every purchase he would make, and then research some more. It took him two years to buy that BMW because he researched every aspect of alternative vehicles that he could muster up. He was all about avoiding MADE IN CHINA way back since I was a small child in the 1970s. He abhorred stuff made in China back then. His opinion on such things never changed. In the 1980s he was all about Made in Japan. "Quality" he said, but for the most part he would purchase things made in USA first, and if not, then Made in Japan, then made in Korea. He just hated the stuff made in China, which is understandable given all the shenanigans going on with garbage made in China, such as the tainted dog food, the toothpaste with anitfreeze as an ingredient, melamine to pump up protein counts in baby formula that killed a bunch of babies in China, and the use of lead in toys bound for the US Market. It is no wonder that my dad thought of Chinese products as such. That is just how my dad thinks. He thought his chemo treatments were all about the medical establishment making money off of him knowing full well that there is no real cure for pancreatic cancer (though if you are Steve Jobs, your life can be prolonged, as he is going on his 7th year living after his diagnosis of a "rare" form of pancreatic cancer). He told me time and again of his disdain for the medical establishment, but he seemed to have a better relationship than most with his Oncologist. I am not sure if pumping your body with lethal chemicals is the way to go with this particular cancer. But I digress.

My dad is dying. I am sad that he is dying this way, and if I have my choice, I want to die doing something I love, like surfing.