Dreams with my Father

My father passed away on September 9, 2011. It was a long slog for him and I miss him. Now I only have memories and pictures, but the other night, I had the third element, a dream. While my sister and mother have already spoken with my dad in their dreams, I had not until the morning of November 1, All Saints Day. In my dream, my dad had returned from the dead and I asked him "Why are you back?" and he said, "Well I need to get this tumour checked out. so you need to drive me to the doctor's to get it checked out." I spent a lot of time driving him to his appointments in the last year, and this was no real surprise request. In fact, I was happy to drive him in my dream. When we arrived at UCLA Medical Center, he got out of the car and started walking, and I said, "Dad why don't you ride in the wheelchair, I will push you." And he said, I can walk, but if you want to push me, that is fine. So he sat down in the chair, with me moving the footrests out of the way like I always did. It was like it was actually happening. When I wheeled him into the elevator, my sister Joyce appeared with a watch in a ziploc bag. The watch was in pieces. Joyce asked my dad to fix it, and she handed him the bag. In real life, my dad enjoyed repairing things. IN the dream, he said. What is this watch? A Becker Guchi? This watch is garbage." Then, I realized that I was wearing my dad's Panerai that was given to me by my mother after my dad died. Feeling guilty wearing the watch that he wore everyday, I took it off my wrist and handed it back to him, saying, "Dad, here is your watch back, you can have it back now that you are here again." And he said, "You need to take care of the watch, the screws on the side are loose, you need to tighten them up." And I said, "no dad, they are fine." And he said, no they are loose, and he proceeded to take the watch from me and pulled out the screwdriver built specifically for that watch and he tightened down the screws and gave the watch back to me. That is all I can remember about my dream with my father, but I am very happy that it was a good dream. I miss you dad, and thanks for visiting on All Saints Day. Love your son, John

Racism lives on in The OC

Today I was driving home from work, waiting at the light to turn left near Sterling liquor on Newland and Heil. There was a man crossing the street, taking his time, while yapping on the phone, and another car also waiting for that man to cross, so that driver could turn right onto Newland. Someone behind me honked, and I put my hand out and gave that driver the customary SHAKA, and proceeded to turn left. Well the driver who turned right, caught up to me at the bottom of the hill, near Nady's market, and proceeded to scream at me. "I was waiting for the guy to cross, YOU DAMN SLANT EYED MOTHER FUCKER," I calmly looked at the guy and said. "I wasn't the person who honked. You got beef? Take it up with the driver behind me" Then the guy in the back seat of the car got all apologetic and said, "Really? I am so sorry, and proceeded to try and shake my hand.

Nothing surprises me anymore in Orange County, having lived in this place for most of my adult life, but for a bunch of rednecks (I know it is a stereotype, but they sure as heck looked AND acted like rednecks) to call me a damn slant eyed mother fucker, for something that I didn't do, and then proceed to apologize and try to shake my hand, well, that just takes the CAKE. That is the funniest shit. I look forward to my MOVE to Hawaii, as soon as my oldest son grows up and gets a full time job. After he graduates from college.

My dad

I have never talked about my dad being sick on this blog. I always thought that matters of the health are really best discussed between family, but with the rise in social media and websites such as Caring Bridge (of which dad's maladies are detailed), I figured that I could write about my dad on my blog, which maybe a dozen or so people read, infrequently at that. My dad has cancer and is dying. He was diagnosed November 2008 with pancreatic cancer. He received a whipple surgery to remove the head of his pancreas in an effort to excise the cancer, but for whatever reason, it didn't work and the cancer came back apparently in the spot where the surgery took place. As recently as last week, I asked my dad if he had the strength to put pressure on his legs, in my vain thinking that if I could just get him to stand, his strength might come back. But of course I am also a realist. Once you have a cancer such as pancreatic cancer, your life is pretty much limited, and especially when you are on in years as my dad is. Watching my dad go through chemotherapy, and listening to his rationale that its all about the money, I have tended to believe what he says.

My dad has always been a trendsetter in his own quirky ways. When he first moved to the United States he bought a 1962 VW Beetle, more so I think because it got good gas mileage than anything else. He was always about the gas mileage in the cars that he purchased for his own use, way before it became trendy, or more so, necessary to watch your mileage. 1980 Honda Civic GL, 1995 BWM 318ti, and so on. At the time he bought the BMW, he was also thinking about a 95 Chevy Impala, you know, the monster car with the Corvette motor. But practicality always won out, except of course when he purchased a brand new 1984 Mercedes Benz turbo diesel (Which I still drive to this day). In all respects, my dad is always about practicality. He researched nearly every purchase he would make, and then research some more. It took him two years to buy that BMW because he researched every aspect of alternative vehicles that he could muster up. He was all about avoiding MADE IN CHINA way back since I was a small child in the 1970s. He abhorred stuff made in China back then. His opinion on such things never changed. In the 1980s he was all about Made in Japan. "Quality" he said, but for the most part he would purchase things made in USA first, and if not, then Made in Japan, then made in Korea. He just hated the stuff made in China, which is understandable given all the shenanigans going on with garbage made in China, such as the tainted dog food, the toothpaste with anitfreeze as an ingredient, melamine to pump up protein counts in baby formula that killed a bunch of babies in China, and the use of lead in toys bound for the US Market. It is no wonder that my dad thought of Chinese products as such. That is just how my dad thinks. He thought his chemo treatments were all about the medical establishment making money off of him knowing full well that there is no real cure for pancreatic cancer (though if you are Steve Jobs, your life can be prolonged, as he is going on his 7th year living after his diagnosis of a "rare" form of pancreatic cancer). He told me time and again of his disdain for the medical establishment, but he seemed to have a better relationship than most with his Oncologist. I am not sure if pumping your body with lethal chemicals is the way to go with this particular cancer. But I digress.

My dad is dying. I am sad that he is dying this way, and if I have my choice, I want to die doing something I love, like surfing.

Thank you W for keeping us safe

I've been thinking hard lately since the Navy SEALs got bin Laden. Specifically, I have been rethinking my opinions on George W. Bush. During his presidency, I was opposed to some of his policies, like the invasion of Iraq, which I still think was wrong, especially given what is going on in the Middle East today, BUT, who would have thought the region would push for democracy. Today, I look at the man and view him as a man who did what he thought was right to protect our country, and after the September 11 attacks, he did just that. All the controversy aside regarding things such as Water boarding, the secret meetings with the Oil companies, etc., W kept us safe for the most part, post 911. I believe that W did what he thought was right to protect our country. I believe that all presidents do what they think is right to protect our country. And that is a good thing. I have come to the conclusion that I appreciate some of the things that W did while he was in office. I never thought that I would say it, but thank you W for keeping us safe.

Chipotle no longer antibiotic free?

I've been to Chipotle half a dozen times and I liked the food, especially the company's stance on antibiotic free chicken. Well that all changed. The company had previously signage on its food bar stating that they sourced their chicken from growers that did not use antibiotics in their chicken feed. That is no longer the case. During my visit to the local Chipotle, the signage that touted the company use of antibiotics free chicken was gone, replaced with a different feel good story, stating that the company sources their food from responsible farmers who don't use antibiotics in their feed for their pork.

Want to know more? The signage had a number to text for more information, so I did.

However, there was no mention of chicken in any of the text information, so we asked at the counter, and they stated that about two months ago, Chipotle stopped using antibiotic free chicken. Big bummer. I later searched on the Internet, but didn't find anything about the company's stoppage of using antibiotic free chicken, but there was plenty touting the company's antibiotic free pork, as well as the now old news the company fired upwards of 450 employees in Minnesota because their social security numbers wouldn't pass e-Verify. So, the question is, where do I go for my fast mex chicken fix now that Chipotle has reverted to chicken with antibiotics?

Aquino and Marcos need to work Together

President Noy Noy Aquino and Sen. Bong Bong Marcos seemingly have been trying to rewrite the "what if's" of the past, with Sen. Marcos claiming that the Philippines could be like Singapore today if his namesake was allowed to finish out his third term in office rather than be forced out by the EDSA Revolution of 1986, and President Aquino claiming that had Marcos remained in power, the Philippines would have ended up like Libya, erupting in civil war like the world has witnessed in February and March of 2011. Marcos wants his father buried in the Libingan ng mga Bayan with full military honors, while Aquino, whose opinions are clear on both President Marcos and his burial, has left it to Vice President Jejomar Binay to make the decision if Marcos is to be buried in the Heroes Cemetery or not. Binay, before he became Mayor of Makati, was a civil rights attorney who fought the Marcos regime during the Martial Law years, 1972-1981.

The issue is not with the what ifs of the past, but rather, with the what can be's in the future. These two leaders are seemingly bent on reliving the past, when in fact they should be working together to make the Philippines a better country than it is. While it is true that Ferdinand Marcos the 1st led the country in times of prosperity during his first term in office, everything except the population of the Philippines went downhill after he declared Martial Law, which was really a bogus grab at power. There was so much graft and corruption during the Marcos Martial Law years, that upon Marcos' ouster in the People Power revolution, there were claims that the Marcos family had amassed billions during their rule. In fact, during his forced exile in Hawaii, Marcos penned an opinion piece that appeared in the Los Angeles Times in which he guaranteed a return of some $5 billion to the Philippine government if he and his family were allowed to return to the Philippines. The administration of Corazon Aquino did not take Marcos up on his offer and he died in bitter exile in Honolulu. His family though eventually found its way back to the Philippines and today his children are in politics, with daughter Imee the governor of Illocos Norte (Bong Bong's former job), and son and namesake Ferdinand Jr. the senator.

President Noy-Noy Aquino's family has been entrenched in the Philippine political scene for decades. PNoy himself is an accidental president, who only was elected due to the sympathy vote upon the death of his mother. They too are of the ruling elite, with PNoy's father, Benigno Aquino assassinated at the Manila International Airport (now Ninoy Aquino airport) purportedly on the orders of Marcos, and PNoy's mother, housewife Corazon Aquino, who helped to return democracy to the Philippines with her election in 1986, thanks to Marcos' call for a snap election. Cory Aquino's legacy piece of legislation, the Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Program, known as CARP was supposed to have promoted the welfare of the landless by deeding them property that previously belonged to the landed oligarchs of the country, of which Cory's family was a member of with its Hacienda Luisita. While on paper the program sounded like it would help to free the laborers of the land from the bondage of the landowners, CARP was never really successfully implemented. In fact, the ownership of the Hacienda Luisita is still winding its way through the courts, more than 20 years after the law was enacted in 1988. The only legacy that Cory Aquino brought to the Philippines was a return to democracy, which is huge.

So where is the Philippines today? While the country has progressed somewhat, the two seeming ruling families are still feuding, with Bong Bong saying this and Noy Noy saying that, which is ridiculous considering what the country is doing on the international scene. Will Vietnam, which just a generation ago was at war, surpass the sick man of Asia? Will Laos or Cambodia surpass the Philippines in terms of GDP? Both President Aquino and Sen. Marcos are leaders of the country, they should put their collective heads together for the benefit of the FUTURE of the country rather than to try and secure familial legacies. Their namesakes histories have already been written. Trying to rewrite history is a waste of time. We know what Marcos the first brought to the Philippines, and we know what Cory Aquino's legacy was, as well as that of Benigno Aquino Sr. It is time for these two leaders to write their own histories rather than to fall back on or defend the histories of their parents.

Divorce via Facebook

One of my close friends is getting divorced. . . again. I really liked his first wife, she was beautiful and very intelligent, but I didn't like what she did to him. It took a long time to warm up to his second wife, but I did. I heard of all this via Facebook, and am actually quite sad that he is going through it again. It seems though after briefly talking to his wife that this could be totally fixable, yet my friend doesn't seem to want to fix it. This is coupled with the fact that he has taken up with another woman who "says all the right things." This is pretty sad. And without that other woman, I think that the marriage could have been saved. I don't buy his story that not being made aware of money is worse than cheating with someone else. That is just such bullshit. Although it is the root of many a divorce, and marriages, money should never be an issue to opt for a divorce. Marriage and divorce is like fast food in America. If you don't like it, DON'T get married.

Which brings me to my next bone to pick, how much detail of your life do you post up on Facebook, which is on the Internet for all to see, whether you fix your privacy settings or not, if it is on the Internet, it can be seen. I have struggled with what should and shouldn't be shared on Facebook or any other website for that matter since my dad became ill. My sister had been posting condition updates on him via CaringBridge, but I felt opposed to it in a way because these are private family matters in my opinion, just like my friend's Divorce via Facebook. Do all of your friends want to know every minute detail of your daily goings on? What you ate for lunch or where you were last night? Or should you stick to what is benign?

Mubarak Steps Down

During all the turmoil that was happening in Egypt thanks to the people. . . and Facebook and Twitter, with the Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak finally stepping down after 30 years of iron fisted rule, the question that the entire world wants to know is what is next for that country.

A Muslim country, Mubarak turned over power to the military, so in essence, it was a Military coup without the coup, and the people are happy about it. Scary thoughts. What will the military do now with its new found power now that their former military strongman, who has ruled Egypt under emergency rule for the last 30 years is gone. Will there be a power vacuum, or a power struggle? Egypt has been a fairly stable country the last 30 years, so stable in fact that the USA has given billions in aid to the country, in part because of its steadfast support for Israel to exist.

Now Israel needs to be very concerned with what will happen next, because other than Egypt, Israel doesn't have a whole lot of friends in that part of the world. And with the most organized opposition in Egypt, the Muslim Brotherhood, being vehemently anti-Israel, things will be watched very closely. This is not to take away from the dictatorial rule of Mubarak. Like the Shah of Iran and Ferdinand Marcos before him, Mubarak, a tyrant in every sense of the word, was steadfastly supported by the United States, almost to the very end. While there was bloodshed in the streets of Cairo, it could have been a heck of a lot worse than it was. It could have been like Tiananmen Square back in 1989. The United States has a sort of twisted history when it comes to supporting dictators. These dictators are counter to what the United States stands for, freedom and democracy, yet history tells us that we repeat it over and over and over again. Do as I say, not as I do.