In a FUNK

I've been in a funk ever since I got back from our trip to the Philippines. I can't really put my finger on it but for some reason, I have been feeling funky, and not in the good sense. I don't really know what it is, but for some reason, it has to do with the trip. Emotions. ;( The last time I went to the Philippines, in 1989, I came back in bitter disappointment. A lot of things went down in my life back then, and I had vowed then that I wouldn't go back. There was no real reason to. I had made some interesting decisions then with regard to my life and that of others that were wakeup calls to change the way I had wantonly did things to myself and to others. Young and Dumb. It was a roller coaster that fortunately for those involved, stopped, at least I hope, fairly quickly. I got off. Not my Cup of tea, as was always said.

I guess the trip brought back a lot of that history that I had gotten over years ago. I mean when I smelled that Philippine air, it was really different from those days of long ago. I expected the sweaty, sweet, pungent smell of Manila, but got a blast of nothingness. I didn't get a whiff of that third world air that I was expecting. Maybe it is a lost sense. Now it is really just that, the history of the whole affair. The good, and it was good, the bad, which was at its best, real bad, and the freakin fubugly, which was a lot of nastiness. Chock it up to inexperience, indifference or both, the feelings came back when I stepped off that plane and spent the last day of our trip to the Philippines in Manila, walking around Greenbelt, an old haunt that really struck a cord.

Usually I get blue like this around the Holidays, but fuck, it isn't even Halloween YET! I am not really looking forward to the crass commercialism of Christmas. I do though want to send stuff to my new found brother and sister ins-law and their family in Bacolod. I had the best time with them in the Philippines, so much so that we are planning to bring the boys back with us when we visit again this summer. I guess my boys will be getting a bit less, Shit they already have everything they need. Motorcycles, ATVs, a boat, all the material things teenagers could want. They don't need anything else but a good sermon from God himself.

Jovi was even open to the idea of living in Bacolod for a few years. Although I really like Tagaytay. I heard they are putting subdivisions up there like crazy. My job affords me to live pretty much anywhere in the world there is an Internet connection, and I was sorta shocked when she said that, because, I could move there yesterday. I just like the sweetness and the hospitality of the people in the Philippines. It truly is incredible how friendly they can be. Illongos, and especially those from Bacolod are very easygoing and friendly folks.

I think perhaps I need to go surfing, get into it again.