Girlfriend on the Side

I've not been feeling too well the week, not from being sick, but from a whole host of things that have culminated into my weirdness. The other day, my SO had asked me a question, specifically asking for the name of my ex SO, which I gave to her, and she had replied, I can't believe that you still remember her name. Well, I do remember her name and if it was already water under the bridge for me, or in the past, it was still in the past. Usually, things that had happened in the past, I like to leave in the past and not drudge things up, but for some reason, she wanted to bring it up, if for anything else, to remind me. So, I got to thinking over the last few days, is she trying to penalize me for who I was with in a past life or what? I sort of felt under the impression that maybe she was, but I then got to thinking, what did she (the ex) do to her (my SO)? the answer is nothing. She didn't do anything to her, she didn't really even no her, though they met briefly at one point. So perhaps she was just drudging it up to ding me that night. I have to say that it worked, it brought back a whole host of emotions that I had successfully put away all these years. But that only lasted a few days. I am still sore about it but still the same I love my wife, I really think that she was a gift from god when she picked me up on the side of a road that day, a long time ago. But anyway, enough of that drama.

My parents returned from a trip to the Philippines with all kind of story to tell. They go back every couple of years for the most part to just go back. This time they sold a bunch of land in Paranaque, a town just north of their home town. The whole buying and selling process has really taken several years, which is strange, but they sold the land to the city, so I can only imagine the red tape and all that they have to go through. At any rate, my mother came back with some stories to tell about her family. It appears that my lolo has just kicked one of his daughters out of the house because she is pregnant and unmarried, and apparently he doesn't like the guy who impregnanted her. Which I think is very hypocritical considering the number of children that he has. What kind of man would kick out his 20-year old daughter for being pregnant? And his 16 year old grandson just became a father and he can accept that? I think my lolo's priorities are for no better of a word, screwed.

His other daughter is engaged, but apparently he does not know it yet. Andeng, it appears is scared to tell him for fear of him not approving of her fiance. And on top of this all, my mother was invited to visit his new rest house in Tagaytay, and the only time they were able to go was late one night, and when my father and her went up there, Andeng's brother was there with one of his girlfriends. As my mother told me this, she called the Tagaytay house some sort of bad name, a place where the married men of her family take their girl friends for rendezvous, or sexual liasons or whatever, it appears they had outgrown Cherry Lodge or Victoria's, which are, or at least were (I haven't been to one in 15 years) hotels that you can rent by the evening or the hour for dilly dallying or what have you. AH you know what I am talking about. Anyway, this Tagaytay House got me and my wife into a big discussion about Philippine society, (actually it was about the Bautista family, but I tried to deflect it to society in the Philippines) me claiming that it is the norm for married men to have girlfriends on the side and she claiming the latter, that it is really an exception. She then went on to blast my mom's side of the family, where there is a penchant for the men to have girlfriends on the side when married. She took the high road and wondered how a woman can respect herself when her husband has a girlfriend on the side. I just said it was a fact of Philippine life, part of the whole macho male mentality that Filipinos possess. She called it sick, and started to talk about my cousins in such a light, and querida'd, er, queried if I were in the Philippines would I be like that, screwing around on her. I didn't have an answer, though my policy is, if the woman I am with screws around on me, I simply leave. It only has happened once, so would I be like my cousins if I lived there? Probably. Not. I love my wife too much to do something like that. It wouldn't be fair to her. It does though make me wonder how my cousin's wife feels that her husband has girlfriends on the side. She really must love her husband, or she sticks to the marriage because of all the children. Or perhaps she has a boyfriend on the side.